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| Listening to Canon by Pachelbel reminds me of a lot of memories. At the same time, it makes me wonder where my future is headed. What will become? I can't even imagine where or what I'll be doing in 10 years. (I'll be celebrating the 10th anniversary of me wondering where I was going.) haha no.. but I used to be scared of change, worried that I won't be able to adapt to the changing times and situations. One lesson I have learned is that nothing in this world is the same--change happens whether I'm worried over it or not.
Who knows, maybe the next 5-10 years will be the best years of my life. Hopefully, I'll have a wonderful job and be happily married. I want a happy, not a perfect marriage. I've grown so much over the years, my perspective on life has changed dramatically, and I'd like to believe I'm the same ole' Jason Gwak, but I'm not. I'm not the same, and in ways I have changed. Not necessarily everything that has changed is perfect or the way I want it to be, but more and more I'm learning how I need to change. How I need to be ready for the future, how I need to plan, I need change, especially now more than ever.
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Junior year went by so quickly and I couldn't imagine that I'll be graduating so soon, but like that stupid insurance commercial I'm reminded how "Life comes at you fast."
These past few days have made me rethink, reevaluate where I want to be. And, just because I planned where I want to be doesn't necessarily mean I'll be there as I planned. Who knows, maybe God will be "interrupt" my life like P. John spoke of. The main thing I need to remember is that God is always faithful--that no matter how much things and people may change, God has always been there to love me.
I began to wonder who in my life has loved me unrelentlessly. Easily, I take my family for granted--how easily I forget that my mom calls me to say that she loves me. Ironically, I remember a lot of things, a lot of occurances, a lot of dates and times, but I can't seem to remember how much my family loves me.
Every birthday, every 11:11, and every star I've ever wished upon, I wish for the same thing; to love as I have been so gently and undeservingly been loved. My selfish ways, my sinful heart, did nothing to be a recipient of such great love. In so many ways, I am beyond thankfulness, beyond amazement, and beyond my understanding of how I could receive this gift. I'm not saying I'm so popular, I'm so loved by everybody--which I'm not--but it's never the quantity of love, but the quality. I received love beyond measures of comprehension and logic, and I pray that I could only at least give half of what I've been given.
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Also, one of my favorite high school teachers always stressed the importance of leaving the world better than I inherited. When I was younger, I always wanted to be rich and live a comfortable life. I wanted to keep every dollar, keep every cent, and essentially, be the stereotypical cheap and frugal Korean.
But I realize that dream is entirely selfish and utterly apathetic of the world around me. How could I sleep so peacefully when millions are dying everyday. As I close my eyes to sleep to wake up the next morning, there are those who will be closing their eyes for their last time. Dante Allergherty once said that the hottest place in hell are reserved for those who do nothing. Another said that the greatest sin is not murder, theft, or deception, but apathy.
I want to live not a life of charity, but a life of love and humble servitude... I'm ready for the daunting task of being less selfish, sinful, and apathetic. My life moto should not read how can I help myself, but like the ugly vests of Walmart employees, it should read: "How can I help you?"
...And, I cannot imagine a more peaceful way to die than knowing that in someway, somehow I left this world better than I inherited. | | |
| I won't lie, through busy-ness and busy-work, life's a little hectic right now. but more recently I realized how simple I am, and more, how one person can make things slow down and go soooo slow; meaning, you just can't wait for the next class to see that person, the next time you spend time with that person, and time can't come soon enough. Well maybe it's because I never had too much... (except for food), but little things I notice, and so to me, they aren't little at all. And it's so interesting how a bad day turns into a do-able day when you see that person, or get that encouragement. I guess people might think I like someone... haha I may or may not... but I was speaking generally...
And on a side note, why the freak are there so many jason's... when was jason a popular name...
like the great Highlander said..."THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!!"
As I leave... I leave with a quote from Talladega Nights: the ballad of Ricky Bobby on Highlander
Ricky Bobby: This kinda reminds me of that Highlander movie.
Jean Girard: What? I never saw that.
Ricky Bobby: It was nominated for an academy award.
Jean Girard: For what?
Ricky Bobby: Best movie made ever.
Slow down, and happy rest of week y'all | | |
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haha sorry, the title has nothing to do with what about to write about.. but just wanted to grab your attention. sneaky sneaky me. "i am berry berry sneaky"
When I was an underclassmen here at U of I, when I was still considering changing majors and thinking about prospective careers, there were rumors of certain programs being this and that, #1 or #5, or so forth.
To clear the air, and to help some of those considering different majors, I'm going to post what programs U of I are particularly noted for, this is 2007 rankings :)
Let me know if this was helpful at all :) and your welcome! haha
taken from www.publications.uiuc.edu/info/ranking.html
(US News)
The following undergraduate programs rank in the top 25 nationally:
Business (College of) 13
Accountancy 2
Business management 8
Finance 11
Insurance/risk management 4
International business 22
Management 8
Management information systems 17
Marketing 12
Productions/operations management 8
Real estate 7
Quantitative analysis 11
Psychology 4
Engineering (College of) 4
Aerospace engineering 7
Agricultural engineering 1
Biomedical engineering 19
Chemical engineering 6
Civil engineering 1
Computer engineering 5
Electrical engineering––4
Engineering science/physical engineering 2
Environmental engineering 5
Industrial/manufacturing engineering 11
Materials engineering 1
Mechanical engineering 5
I'm sure most are frantically looking for their majors.. haha but undergraduate isn't as important.. so next are the rankings for graduate schools here (or the latest)
Business (College of) 28
Accountancy 1
Finance 24
Information systems 19
Business management 23
Marketing 21
Education (College of) 18
Admin./supervision 20
Curriculum/instruction 4
Educational policy 12
Educational psychology 4
Elementary education 8
Secondary education 8
Special education 5
Vocational/technical 5
Counseling/personnel 13
Higher education administration 22
Engineering (College of) 5
Aerospace engineering 7
Chemical engineering 12
Civil engineering 1
Computer engineering 5
Electrical engineering4
Environmental engineering 5
Industrial/manufacturing 5
engineering 20
Materials engineering 2
Mechanical engineering 5
Nuclear engineering11
Fine Arts (College of) 21 (2004)
Graphic design 7 (2004)
Law (College) 27
Law school diversity 19
Social Sciences and Humanities
Economics 28 (2006)
English 19 (2006)
American lit. after 1865 17 (2006)
Literary criticism & theory 14 (2006)
History 22 (2006)
Political science 22 (2006)
Psychology 5 (2006)
Cognitive psychology 6 (2006)
Developmental psych 8 (2006)
Experimental psych 4 (2006)
Indust./org. psych 5 (2006)
Social psychology 10 (2006)
Sociology 19 (2005)
The Sciences
Biological sciences 24
Microbiology 7
Chemistry 6
Analytical chemistry 3
Biochemistry 13
Inorganic chemistry 5
Organic chemistry 7
Physical chemistry 7
Theoretical chemistry 10
Computer science 5
Artificial intelligence 8
Programming language 8
Systems 5
Theory 13
Mathematics 17
Algebraic geometry 10
Discrete math & combinations 9
Logic 3
Topology 15
Physics 8
Condensed matter 1
Elementary particles/ fields/ string theory 14
Nuclear 10
Quantum 10
Library and Information Science (Graduate School of) 1
Information systems 4
Law librarianship 5
School library media 11
Digital librarianship 1
Health librarianship 8
Services for children and youth 1
Health Disciplines
Audiology 20 (2005)
Clinical psychology 8 (2005)
Social work 19 (2005)
Speech-language pathology 10 (2005)
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| I haven't had a thoughtful entry in a long time. I've been meaning to update but I give the excuse that apparently I'm busy. Who knows...
Living away from FAR (Florida Residence Halls), people look at you as if you somehow fell from the face of the earth. I get blank stares as if they saw a ghost and thus begin their interrogation
where do you live now?
why?
who do you live with?
is it nice?
did you lose weight?
ok, maybe not the last one.. but you get the idea.
but living in apartments has a very different feel. and, I must admit, I do miss the dorm people, not the dorm life.
Since when is it cool to stay up until 6am and miss all your classes, or even fall asleep in them? haha I realized how nerdy that statement was. but nonetheless, apartments are nice and though I may live far, not FAR, I still love it.
And, I realize I fall victim to loving change, loving a new beginning. I used to think it was rather silly to be excited for a new school year, for a new start. but as I realize, I love it just as much as I hate it.
On a random note, i heard girls get a haircut after a broken relationship because they want change. pffffffttt sillly girls!
I don't mean to be a hater, but its very refreshing to know that the world isn't all asians. my interactions at FAR were probably 90% all asian to asian interactions.... it's not that I don't like asians, I do, esp the fine ones... HAHA kidding... no but seriously the fine ones...
I guess I'm starting to ramble, so to end, i'll answer the interrogation q's
i live at University commons
i wanted to move out
i live with dave shim
yes
and no, but i like when you ask haha
no but seriously, the fine ones...
haha jus playin
-jsn | | |
| This song got me thinking, I wonder how it is to "love" someone you couldn't have... or "love" someone that belongs to someone else. Recently, I saw Superman, and there was the same notion, Lois Lane loves Superman, but she's married to Cyclops from Xmen. Poor Cyclops, dies in Xmen and gets cheated on.... by Superman.. Tough times, tough times...
But seriously though, I feel that more and more these days, this "loving someone you can't have" is appearing mainstream. So in that sense, more people seem to be settling... settling for the next best.. and is this fair to the spouse? or, is it likely that the spouse settled too?
I say now that I would rather be single than settle for relationship... but when I'm 50 and my balls sag to the floor... yeah well... i guess i'll settle... whichever comes first... age50 or balls scrapping the floor... (i apologize if that was too graphic, but not really :p)
I just hope for my friends and family, to join a relationship where even if they settle, they'd really learn to love the person they're with... not the person they can't have...
My dad always told me women are like trees.. if you keep hacking, they'd eventually fall for you... wonder if that's true? :) maybe I wouldn't have to settle after all? haha... I just don't want my balls sagging on the floor
-jsn | | |
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